Pure Magazine

You're Not Alone:

Facing the Holiday Season without Family

The Christmas season is a wonderful time. It's a time to remember the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. It's a time to spend with family and friends and thank God for what He's given us. It's a time of giving. But, what happens when you end up alone during the Christmas season? Perhaps you are out of town on business, sent away for the military, or maybe you have had a death in the family. Often times, people find it difficult to spend Christmas alone. But, what if I told you that you can never actually be alone? What if I told you that God sends his Holy Spirit to live in us and with us every day?

2 Corinthians 13:14

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

We have been given the priviledge of an ever-present God being in our lives; not just on Christmas, but every day. We have been given the gift of FELLOWSHIP with the HOLY SPIRIT. Can you fathom how great this gift is? God is letting us see and feel and experience a part of him. How amazing is this? How much must He love us to allow us such a thing?

Job 16:20

My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God;

Many people don't understand that God is more than the "big head in the sky". He is our friend, our intercessor, our counselor, our love, our salvation. If you haven't already, I challenge you to allow Jesus into your heart and ask him to be your friend. As cheesy as that sounds, it is possible. You will never know a greater friend than Jesus. You will never have a more faithful friend than Him.

Proverbs 18:24

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Job 29:4

...when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house,

He is there during your Grieving

If you are someone that's lost a family member, Christmas can be extra hard. It can bring up memories of him/her and remind you of the good times you spent together. I am a realist and I know that sometimes you just don't have it in you to smile or to think about the good. But, that's what I am here for...and that's what God is here for. He wants you to know that He will be standing by your side holding your hand through the hard times. There are many seasons in life and some of them are very difficult. But, God said He would never give us anything we could not handle. Just ask for his help, ask Him to wrap His loving arms around you and bring you comfort and peace. I promise that if you ask Him, He will not let you down.  You just have to be open to receive his love and comfort.

Psalm 34:18

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Ten Things to Do if You're "Alone" on Christmas

I just read an article called "10 Things to do if you're alone for the Holidays" by Laurie Stoneham. Please copy and paste this link into your browser to read her full article: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/10-things-to-do-if-youre-alone-for-the-holidays/. In her article, Stoneham offers practical advise that will help you get through the day. I will add to it, however, to spend time with God. Start the day with a prayer and thank God for being in your life. Thank him for all He has given you.

Here are Stoneham's "10 Things to do"

1. De-mythologize and adjust expectations. Elaine Rodino, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Santa Monica, Calif., says there are so many categories of expectations about the season being just right that it brings up all sorts of issues relating to family, stress and anxiety, eating disorders, sobriety, self-esteem, competency — the list goes on. “There’s this idea that it’s supposed to be perfect, and if it’s not, the person asks, ‘What’s wrong with me?’” She adds that statistically, the number of “traditional households” in this country is not in the majority.
2. Pick up the phone. Call friends and ask to be included in whatever they’re doing. Rodino suggests offering to bring a dish or seeing how you can contribute to the gathering. She says most people love opening their homes and expanding the celebration. It works for everyone.
3. Be proactive. Create an “alternative family” made up of people whose company you enjoy. Plan and prepare a potluck feast if you like. Remember that you are not alone in being alone during the holidays. Get together with others and have some fun.
4. Plan an outing. Go on a hike, or go to the movies, a park or a museum. Enjoy the outing with your group or by yourself.
5. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a day of beauty at a spa, get a massage or find some other special way to luxuriate. Do whatever you enjoy doing.
6. Reach out. “Build bridges the rest of the year, and cross them during the holidays,” said Craig Ellison, Ph.D., author of Saying Goodbye to Loneliness and Finding Intimacy. If you can’t be with family or loved ones during this time of the year, send them letters or e-mails or call them — in other words, reach out to them.
7. Remember your bonds and blessings. Pull out photo albums and read old letters. While this may be bittersweet, Ellison says it’s “not toxic.” If possible, get on the phone and talk with loved ones who are still living.
8. Help others. Volunteering at a mission or shelter for the homeless will help you feel connected. Ellison suggests that you participate in activities with this organization at other times of the year, not just on one day of the year. This will make the experience more fulfilling. Rodino says volunteering at a soup kitchen gives you a healthy perspective. “There’s nothing like that for slapping you back to realizing how well you are,” Rodino noted.
9. Travel. If you have the finances, get away for a few days. Go skiing or take a tropical holiday. Singles groups often have tour groups during the holidays. Rodino says this gets you out of the traditional holiday mindset.
10. Get through the day. If you’re unable to do any of these things, Rodino tells her patients to just get through it. Read. Sleep. Rent a video. And remember, tomorrow it’ll all be over.

I hope that everyone out there has a very Merry Christmas. I know that for some of you it may be easier said than done. However, remember that Jesus is your friend and if you allow Him he will be ever-present in your life. Have a very Merry Christmas everyone and let's all celebrate the birth of our Savior and friend, Jesus Christ!