Pure Magazine

'Tis A Season

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For those of you that don't know, this has been a year full of change for me. Back in August, we discovered that my husband Will has cancer and he has been on chemotherapy since the beginning of September. And as much as I'd like to say that I've held it all together, the fact of the matter is that it has been extremely difficult. The reason that I made the title of this article "'Tis A Season" instead of "'Tis The Season" is because I wanted to remind everyone going through hard times that we all go through different seasons in life. The rain will go away eventually and the clouds will subside. You will see the sun shine again.

My husband and I like to make lists of goals for the year. Earlier this year, we had a very long list, with plans and expectations of what would happen. Well, we never would have thought in a million years that something like this would happen to Will. He is young and healthy, in shape and active. But, cancer doesn't play favorites and sometimes life surprises us. The comfort that we find, however, is that God will never leave us, nor forsake us. He will never give us more than we can handle.

I spoke with a woman at the cancer center the other day, while Will was receiving his treatment. She was on her 11th cycle of chemotherapy and was obviously worn down and exhausted. But after talking with her a while, she said that she was very appreciative to have the cancer center because it gave her hope. It started to make me think about the power of hope. Where would we be without God? How could Will and I get through this without His strength to hold us up?

Ecclesiastes 3: A Time for Everything 

1 There is a time for everything,

   and a season for every activity under the heavens:  2 a time to be born

and a time to die,

   a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 3 a time to kill and a time to heal,

   a time to tear down and a time to build,

 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,

   a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

 6 a time to search and a time to give up,

   a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 7 a time to tear and a time to mend,

   a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 8 a time to love and a time to hate,

   a time for war and a time for peace.

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For those of you that are struggling this holiday season, I urge you to remember that seasons change and life goes on. Your pain won't last forever and things will get better. Maybe some of you are mourning the loss of a loved one, or holding that hand of you sick husband, or lying in a hospital bed. Maybe some of you are drowning in debt, trying to find work, or worrying about keeping your children fed. Just remember that God is our provider. He is our strength, and He is our HOPE. Hold onto the thought that a new season is just around the corner.

This Christmas Eve I sang in the Christmas choir at church, and we sang the song "Jesus Paid it All". There is something about that song that always makes me cry. However, one verse in particular kept jumping out at me. "I hear the Savior say, 'thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness watch and pray. Find in me thine all in all." I just kept hearing God remind me that though this season is tough, God is enough to sustain us. He will be our all in all.

After that song, we had our candle light section of the service, where we all light a candle and hold it up in the air. The silence in the room, mixed with the beauty of everyone worshiping God together just brought me to tears. He showed me that each person in that room was going through something different, yet we were all joined together in the same place to worship God. He is the one that we should turn to, no matter what and He is the only one we can depend on to get us through anything. God speaks to us in many ways. We just have to sit and listen. Sometimes we need to be silent to hear his voice.

Image borrowed from: http://quiettimesamz.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/46-v10-candle1.jpg

Let's take this Christmas season to thank God for all He has done this year and pray that He can use us in even greater ways next year. Remember to tell your friends and family how much you love them and that God is enough to sustain you through each and every season.

and

How praying for your family and friends can change lives.

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James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.” This statement couldn't be truer. Without prayer, we have no link to God. Without prayer, we are unable to repent of our sins, we are unable to thank God, and we are unable to intercede on behalf of those we love. However, how many of us take for granted the fact that we have immediate and direct access to the Savior? I know I have. It is easy to forget the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross. It is easy to forget that we are extremely privileged to be able to speak to God whenever we like. It is easy to ignore the fact that for some people, we may be the only link to God in their lives.

Recently, I have been struggling with a few things. But, instead of taking it to God first, I tried to fix everything on my own. How many of you know that this doesn't work? I put myself in the way of God's will, I didn't ask for his help or advice, I tried to do it all on my own. And...I failed miserably. God often reminds us how big He is and how small we are in comparison.

When I finally decided to take my problem to God, miraculous things happened. He brought me a friend that prays. It may seem small to some people, but I believe what the verse above says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." My friend was able to stand in the gap for me when I was at my weakest. She was able to lift me up in prayer and make a petition to God on my behalf.

How many of you know someone that needs your prayer? How many of you are willing to stand in the gap for your friends/family?

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

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“Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action.” 

Mahatma Gandhi

When we pray, we should be seeing ourselves as soldiers. We should be assuming the position of battle. For prayer is, indeed a battle. Think of your unsaved family and friends. You  may be the only one out there praying for them. But, "THE PRAYER OF A RIGHTEOUS MAN (WOMAN) IS POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE". You must believe with faith that God is in control, that He hears your prayers, and that He will answer them in His timing.

James 5:15

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

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Never ever underestimate the power of prayer. Don't assume that your problem is too small or too big for God. He can change lives. He can heal the sick. He can open doors that we've never imagined. But first, as Joyce Meyers says in her podcast about hindrances to prayer, "The number one hindrance to prayer is actually praying." Don't just think about it or talk about it. Get on  your knees and begin to pray. If you're not used to praying and the concept seems foreign to you, take it one sentence at a time. God isn't up there waiting for you to make a mistake. He longs to talk to you. He longs to be close to you. Talk to him like you would talk to a friend. That is, after all what He is. He is the best friend you could ever have.

So, let's all take some time to sit down and talk to our Creator. Let's pray for our friends and family and allow God to do a wonderful work in their lives.

You're Not Alone:

Facing the Holiday Season without Family

The Christmas season is a wonderful time. It's a time to remember the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. It's a time to spend with family and friends and thank God for what He's given us. It's a time of giving. But, what happens when you end up alone during the Christmas season? Perhaps you are out of town on business, sent away for the military, or maybe you have had a death in the family. Often times, people find it difficult to spend Christmas alone. But, what if I told you that you can never actually be alone? What if I told you that God sends his Holy Spirit to live in us and with us every day?

2 Corinthians 13:14

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

We have been given the priviledge of an ever-present God being in our lives; not just on Christmas, but every day. We have been given the gift of FELLOWSHIP with the HOLY SPIRIT. Can you fathom how great this gift is? God is letting us see and feel and experience a part of him. How amazing is this? How much must He love us to allow us such a thing?

Job 16:20

My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God;

Many people don't understand that God is more than the "big head in the sky". He is our friend, our intercessor, our counselor, our love, our salvation. If you haven't already, I challenge you to allow Jesus into your heart and ask him to be your friend. As cheesy as that sounds, it is possible. You will never know a greater friend than Jesus. You will never have a more faithful friend than Him.

Proverbs 18:24

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Job 29:4

...when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house,

He is there during your Grieving

If you are someone that's lost a family member, Christmas can be extra hard. It can bring up memories of him/her and remind you of the good times you spent together. I am a realist and I know that sometimes you just don't have it in you to smile or to think about the good. But, that's what I am here for...and that's what God is here for. He wants you to know that He will be standing by your side holding your hand through the hard times. There are many seasons in life and some of them are very difficult. But, God said He would never give us anything we could not handle. Just ask for his help, ask Him to wrap His loving arms around you and bring you comfort and peace. I promise that if you ask Him, He will not let you down.  You just have to be open to receive his love and comfort.

Psalm 34:18

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Ten Things to Do if You're "Alone" on Christmas

I just read an article called "10 Things to do if you're alone for the Holidays" by Laurie Stoneham. Please copy and paste this link into your browser to read her full article: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/10-things-to-do-if-youre-alone-for-the-holidays/. In her article, Stoneham offers practical advise that will help you get through the day. I will add to it, however, to spend time with God. Start the day with a prayer and thank God for being in your life. Thank him for all He has given you.

Here are Stoneham's "10 Things to do"

1. De-mythologize and adjust expectations. Elaine Rodino, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Santa Monica, Calif., says there are so many categories of expectations about the season being just right that it brings up all sorts of issues relating to family, stress and anxiety, eating disorders, sobriety, self-esteem, competency — the list goes on. “There’s this idea that it’s supposed to be perfect, and if it’s not, the person asks, ‘What’s wrong with me?’” She adds that statistically, the number of “traditional households” in this country is not in the majority.
2. Pick up the phone. Call friends and ask to be included in whatever they’re doing. Rodino suggests offering to bring a dish or seeing how you can contribute to the gathering. She says most people love opening their homes and expanding the celebration. It works for everyone.
3. Be proactive. Create an “alternative family” made up of people whose company you enjoy. Plan and prepare a potluck feast if you like. Remember that you are not alone in being alone during the holidays. Get together with others and have some fun.
4. Plan an outing. Go on a hike, or go to the movies, a park or a museum. Enjoy the outing with your group or by yourself.
5. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a day of beauty at a spa, get a massage or find some other special way to luxuriate. Do whatever you enjoy doing.
6. Reach out. “Build bridges the rest of the year, and cross them during the holidays,” said Craig Ellison, Ph.D., author of Saying Goodbye to Loneliness and Finding Intimacy. If you can’t be with family or loved ones during this time of the year, send them letters or e-mails or call them — in other words, reach out to them.
7. Remember your bonds and blessings. Pull out photo albums and read old letters. While this may be bittersweet, Ellison says it’s “not toxic.” If possible, get on the phone and talk with loved ones who are still living.
8. Help others. Volunteering at a mission or shelter for the homeless will help you feel connected. Ellison suggests that you participate in activities with this organization at other times of the year, not just on one day of the year. This will make the experience more fulfilling. Rodino says volunteering at a soup kitchen gives you a healthy perspective. “There’s nothing like that for slapping you back to realizing how well you are,” Rodino noted.
9. Travel. If you have the finances, get away for a few days. Go skiing or take a tropical holiday. Singles groups often have tour groups during the holidays. Rodino says this gets you out of the traditional holiday mindset.
10. Get through the day. If you’re unable to do any of these things, Rodino tells her patients to just get through it. Read. Sleep. Rent a video. And remember, tomorrow it’ll all be over.

I hope that everyone out there has a very Merry Christmas. I know that for some of you it may be easier said than done. However, remember that Jesus is your friend and if you allow Him he will be ever-present in your life. Have a very Merry Christmas everyone and let's all celebrate the birth of our Savior and friend, Jesus Christ!

Marital Bliss not so BLISSFUL?

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What to do when your marriage is on the rocks

Life is a funny thing sometimes. As my husband says, "Just when you think you got it, you don't." Well, the same thing can be said about life in the "marital realms". Just when you think your marriage is going great, a speed bump can show up on the road and catch you off guard. A death in the family, financial problems, job lay-offs, infidelity, problems with children? The list can go on and on when it comes to outward interference in a marriage. However, remember that God is the one that created marriage. Satan is the one that wants to destroy families and break up marriages. The odds are that if you are married, you have hit a rough patch at one time or another. Just as life has its ups and downs, so does a marriage. But what are we supposed to do when the downs of marriage have kicked us to the curb? Let's see what the Bible has to say.

The Fruits of the Spirit

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One thing I've found to be true in marriage is you cannot change your spouse. You cannot expect your marriage to change if you are depending on your spouse to change it. You must be proactive and focus on your behavior first. When you begin to pray for your marriage and live and act in the fruits of the spirit, I guarantee that your spouse will take notice.

When you are in the midst of an argument, do you think it would get better or worse if you listened and admitted your faults? Or do you think you will improve the situation by snapping back and sharing all of your hurts? Most likely the first way is the best.

God gave us an outline to how we should live...not just with friends and co-workers, but with our spouses as well.

I have a few tips that may help out when you are on the verge of exploding:

1) Step back from the situation. SAY A PRAYER. It may be hard because you are so angry, but SAY A PRAYER.

2) Respond in love. There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings, even if they are feelings of hurt or disappointment. But, share those feelings in LOVE.

3) Be gentle in your speech. Don't use a harsh tone or body language.

4) Do your best to keep peace in your household. If the situation is escalating, step away again. Take another breather. SAY ANOTHER PRAYER.

5) Be patient with your spouse as they explain their feelings. Don't interrupt, but listen patiently.

6) Be faithful to your spouse by knocking down temptations to run away or run into someone else's arms. Be faithful in mind and action...your marriage will survive this if you depend on God.

7) Be self-controlled. When you are angry, do not react. Violence is caused by anger...if you are having violent thoughts walk away. Control your anger.

8 ) Do your best to not steal your spouse's joy. You ever hear of raining on someone's parade? If you are upset about something, choose the correct timing in bringing it up to your spouse. Choose the correct environment as well.

9) Be kind in your actions and speech. There is a way to explain yourself kindly, even if what you have to say is productive criticism.

10) Goodness....Keep negativity out of your mouth. Criticism is a large cause of divorce. Remind your spouse of the good you see in him. Be careful of being too overly critical.

*I know this is easier said than done, but the more you practice living in the spirit, the easier it will become*

Forgiveness

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If you are married, or thinking of getting married in the future, read this next part carefully.

Marriage is work. Great marriages are created by two people that are dedicated to making it work. You will not get through life being married without some arguments. It is going to happen. So don't be surprised when a dispute happens. It just will.

However, when your husband hurts you, do you hold onto a grudge afterward? Are you able to forgive him and wipe his slate clean?

Luke 6:37

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

This is a hard one to hear, especially if wounds are great. Rape victims, victims of abuse, and the like will especially find this difficult. A large part of why it is so difficult is because most believe if they forgive the abuser, they will be getting away with the crime. However, we must come to know that God is the one to deal with the abuser. It is not our part to avenge, but the Lord's. I am not suggesting that you stay in an abusive situation. If you are being abused you should contact your local police department and seek help. However, you cannot hold onto the pain forever. You must learn to forgive and move on.

The same goes for wives that have been hurt by husbands. Let's face it; we all say things we shouldn't at times. We all hurt our spouse at one time or another intentionally or unintentionally. But, if we hold onto grudges and keep bringing them back into arguments, we will never move on and our marriages will never improve.

Forgiveness is an art form. Let's become masters of it.

Don't give Satan a Foothold

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Ephesians 4:26-32

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. ... Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

When we live in sin, we give Satan a foothold. This actually means you are helping Satan ruin your life. His goal is to STEAL, KILL, and DESTROY anything and everything in your life. He doesn't take vacations when you are at your lowest point. He will pounce on you like a lion. If your marriage is suffering and you hold onto grudges, he will feed off of that to make it worse. DO NOT give him a foothold because he will use it.

Conclusion

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1 Peter 3:1

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,"

1 Peter 3:1-3

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

Let's all try to live the way God intended: with the fruits of the Spirit.

At His Feet

Image Borrowed from:

http://mommylife.net/archives/2010/04/02/woman%20at%20jesus%20feet.jpg

Before you begin reading, I'd like you to take a few minutes inspecting the image above. What words come to mind? What do you think of this woman? Is she a lowly peasant? Is she a fool for lying at this man's feet? Or is she desperate?

Lastly, do you see a slight reflection of yourself in this woman's desperation?

The image above is an artist's portrayal of the woman from Luke 8:37-38.

"When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them."

Now look at the image again. Do you see how desperately she needs Jesus to heal her? Have you ever been this desperate? Maybe you are right now.

The basic truth is that God wants us to be broken sometimes so that we will be reminded of how much we need him. He wants to be powerful when we are powerless.

There have been times in my life where I was so broken and depressed that the only prayer I could utter was, "Lord, help me."

And guess what? He did.

In small ways, God began to reveal himself to me again. And then, in big ways He made himself ever known in my life.

Real-Life

This is the cliché thing to say in a Christian article, but it's true: God doesn't promise that life will be easy. He does promise that we will not go alone.

John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

What we don't want to hear is that in this world, we will get hurt. War, famine, divorce, cancer, and harmful words still exist even if you are a Christian. You will be forced into desperate moments, where all you can lean on is God.

Now, if you're anything like me, you don't want to admit it when you need help, when you've failed, or when you are desperate.

The hard part is admitting it...the easy part is watching God take your life and mold it into something beautiful. But first, you must learn to sit at His feet.

At His Feet

During extremely trying times, my God has come through. It may have been difficult, but the changes He made in my heart and life have stuck with me. I would have never grown without those hard changes and moments of desperation.

Another example of depending on God comes from the book of Luke.

Image borrowed from:

http://www.freewebs.com/ladiesofvirtue/jesus_woman.jpg

Luke 8:47

"Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed,came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Here is another example (from the same chapter of Luke) of a woman in desperation. She knew she needed healing. She had no other choice. Facing ridicule from the other people around, she reached out in desperation and came "trembling at his feet".

It's easy to read something like this. It's another to live it. It's another to actually be in her shoes and be the one facing ridicule.

If you look at these two images and feel as if you are there, you may be in a moment of desperation. You may be in a moment that God wants to show himself powerful, mighty, and compassionate.

Image Borrowed from:

http://jfcbookstore.org/images/DesperateImage.jpg

Where the Power Comes From

During the times where I struggle, I find Satan telling me lies. He says, "If you admit that this is an issue for you, you will be seen as weak. You will be discredited as a Christian and as a leader." He tries to play tricks on my mind (he is good at that) to keep me from falling at Jesus' feet.

The power from your powerlessness comes when you push Satan out of the way and fall at the throne of Christ. When you can push all fear and pride away and realize that there is someone bigger and greater than your desperation, you've already won half of the battle. And this is a battle you cannot fight alone.

Job 26:2

"How you have helped the powerless! How you have saved the arm that is feeble!"

He Knows Already

Another thing you must know is that God already knows what you are going through. Also, He is already interceding (praying) for you with groans that words cannot express.

Romans 8:26

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

This scripture has helped me a lot throughout the years. At moments where all I can pray is "Help me, God", I read this and know that my God is bigger than the pain I feel.

"Lay your sorrows on the Ground. It's time to come back home"

JJ Heller "Back Home"

Conclusion

Whether you are enjoying life and cruising along paths of wildflowers, or you are struggling to pray a simple prayer, God knows and He cares.The step you must take is to push everything aside and trust in Him. Trust that He will take you to paths of Righteousness for His namesake. Trust the He is able and willing to lead you down the path He has set before you.

“If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.”  

C T Studd

Let's all stand before Christ as humble servants and recognize him as Lord of our lives and healer of all wounds.